Name That Baby

I'm always thinking how much Henry and Harrison look alike. So this morning I decided to look and compare pictures. The more I look at the pictures, the more I don't think they look alike. So here, take a try and see what you think.

1

2345678910111213

No fair if you recognized clothes. Here are the answers.

1. Harrison, 2. Henry, 3. Henry, 4.Harrison, 5. Henry, 6. Harrison, 7.Harrison, 8. Henry, 9.Henry, 10. Harrison, 11.Henry, 12. Henry, 13. Henry (Yes, I know, the blanket has his name. It was a good pic. We still use it for Harrison.)

I think Henry can look more like Harrison, but found it hard to find pictures of Harrison looking like Henry.

Surrounded by Beauty

I am not sure where the last month has gone but hello again and happy new year! It's 2010 and the tune of "We're Gonna Party Like It's 1999", the hype of Y2K and Garrison Court parties feel like just yesterday. We got out our 1999 party pictures on new years eve and had some good laughs with a few of the couples that were at that party in 1999. Most of the laughs were at stupid drunk things, people that have come and gone, and the way we used to look. Funny how things change in 10 years.

Even in two years.

This weekend marks the 2nd birth date of my dear,sweet, precious Hudson. It brings me such joy to

be at this point, but it pains me to think of my loss. Many people told me the first year would be the hardest, and it was. The pain was raw. The anniversary of his first birthday felt victorious. We had made it, everything from this point would be easier. For the most part, it has been easier to deal with our difficult loss. Hanging his stocking for Christmas, the hardest part of my Christmas last year, was easier this year--but not easy. It really sucks to see it empty on Christmas morning. But It was wonderful to have a visual reminder that we are a family of 5, not 4.

That's another thing that sucks. I always feel guilty when I answer the question, "How many children do you have?" I most always say 2 because my story isn't something I share openly. (I'm laughing because I have a blog. How much more open can one get?) But maybe what I really mean is that I don't dwell on it. I don't pity myself because of the tragedy I have encountered. People deal with hardships every day. They make us stronger, wiser, and a bit callous.

Last week I sat through a conversation with a few women who were talking about postpartum incontinence. Although it's a terrible problem, I just couldn't fnd enough energy to actually feel sorry for them. About a month and a half ago, a pregnant fitness instructor at the Y started to share her pregnancy stories with me as if I was interested. I nodded my head and smiled as if to say I care, but I didn't really. I just kept thinking, I hope you realize how lucky you are and I hope your baby is healthy. These women had no idea of my story, nor did I intend to share it. It's all part of my journey, learning to cope with everyone else's reality.

What I do try to focus on is the beauty in each day. I have bad days like everyone else. I get crabby, irritable and somedays hard to be around. But I have a home, filled with wonderful things, including people who love me unconditionally. I have so much to appreciate.

Today, the boys and I don't have much of anything going on. After doing our morning routine, we bundled up and went on a walk. Now, I was shocked to learn that it was only 8 degrees, but 8 degrees in Minnesota is beautiful.

I love when the trees are frost-covered.

This pic isn't from this morning, but over Christmas Henry and Scott had a chance to have a little fun in the Christmas storm that rolled through the midwest.

Hen Man bowled for the first time in December. Bumpers and clown shoes have never been so fun!

Austin gave us a little tip to get gifts open a bit faster: When your hands are not enough, use your teeth. He also showed us that it's okay to not like every gift you receive.

Da babe. What's not to love about this smile? 24/7 he's grinning and giggling. Even strangers can't help but stop and smile back.

Finally, brotherly love. I love, love, love the interaction taking place between these two boys. It makes my heart melt.

Life Lessons

Hi, it's me, Henry. Here are a few little diddys I've learned in the last three days.

1) Don't shout inappropriate things in public (or private) places. Parents can find time out any where and any time. They also have the power to take away prize possessions for long or short periods of time.

2) Telling your mom that she is the best, followed by an I love you in the Target toy section will not get you the toy you eyed up.

3) Cutting your own Christmas tree is way better than purchasing one in a tree lot. Especially if you actually get to go into Santa's house afterward to pay Mrs. Clause and drink her apple cider.

4) Mom and Santa are close personal friends. She will throw you under the bus if you misbehave.

5) If you eat 1/2 dozen cookies, you will throw up.

6) If you eat a gingerbread man while falling asleep at the table, you will choke.

7) You cannot run around church. That gives you a direct ticket to the nursery.

8) Peeing backward on the little potty chair does not work.

9) Eating too many Hershey Kisses will make you chubby.

10) Don't use a tissue to wipe boogers off your face. That's what sleeves are for. And when you don't feel like using your sleeve, wipe the boogers on your carseat.

11) When you tell mom to get out the vacuum to clean up the mess that you made under your chair at the counter, she will give you necessary supplies to clean it up yourself.

12) Dad says when you make Mom mad, bring her home flowers and tell her you love her.

This is me when avoiding eye contact with Santa as Mom tells him a few things that she said he probably already knew.

Mom made me pose with Santa after she "filled him in."

This is my baby brother. I heard he's on the nice list. I'm on the maybe list, whatever that means.

My Mr. Funnypants

Scene: Henry eating lunch at the kitchen counter, while Dad does dishes (I like that.) Mom enters kitchen wearing sweatpants (What else? Come on, give me a break. It's Sunday!) and vigoriously applying chapstick to her very, very dry lips.

Dad: Henry, what would you like to get Mom for Christmas?

Henry: Umm. . .ahhh. . .some pretty make-up.

Dad: Anything else?

Henry: A giant pair of underwear!

Giving thanks never felt so good. Happy Thanksgiving little Harrison.

Yea! Snow in Northern Minnesota for Thanksgiving! Henry gave the sled a test drive in preparation for Christmas.

Henry and Uncle Matt worked together to make a complex track route. . .

. . .until helping Nana in the kitchen looked like more fun. . .


. . .and Uncle Matt had to recruit more assistance to finish the job.


Did you know that a reading light also dubbs as a flashlight to get the mail in the dark?

over prepared. . .is that possible??

(Sigh)

I'm not sure where the weekend went, but it's come and gone. I sit here secretly hoping not to get noticed for at least 20 more minutes as I sneak to the basement and blog. Scott is giving the boys a bath and I can hear screams coming from Henry because he's over tired from a packed weekend of friends and family.

Harrison's baptism was this morning and it couldn't have been more perfect if I had to script the day myself. Scott and I slept just long enough this morning to get ourselves and the boys ready, to visit with family that spent the night while eating some banana muffins and butter braid that I had set out the night before. We got to the church with time to spare--made bathroom trips, Harrison was put in his baptismal gown and visited with Father Tim. The kids set up camp with colors and snacks to keep busy for the hour. I couldn't believe how well everything appeared to be going.

It wasn't until I stood in front of the baptismal font that I remembered my camera, which was sitting next to the charged camcorder that I had carefully packed the night before and tucked into the bottom of my diaper bag. I was trying so hard to follow Father Tim, but I couldn't help but glace at my family watching this important moment in Harrison's life (as his big brother was waving to the crowd) and no one had a camera!!! AND MINE WAS BURIED IN THE BOTTOM OF MY BAG!!!

I can remember my exact thought as Todd lit the baptismal candle..."Hey, this will be easy to reenact. Todd can pose again lighting the candle with us looking over his shoulder in awe."

Fortunately for them, I didn't make them pose for the camera afterward. That would have been silly, but how funny would it be to look at those pictures?!

Even though the words have been unspoken between Scott and I, I believe he would agree with me that today was more special for us than it perhaps is for the average person. Sure, baptism is special in its own sacred way--being welcomed into the church and brought up knowing and forever learning about our faith. However, the last time we baptised a son it was under such different, delicate circumstances. I was wearing sweatpants, sitting it a wheelchair, surrounded by my family in the NICU. My son couldn't wear the baptismal gown that Scott, his sisters, and cousins before him wore. Instead it had to lay next to him. I couldn't hold him and over the baptismal font in church as the priest said his blessings and welcomed him in front of the congregation. Somehow in my heart, I knew that day was the beginning to the end of a very short life. As much as I had hope that circumstances would be different, I knew.

A person can plan for so much, and life is capable of taking you in its own direction regardless if you want to or are even ready to go. Maybe I didn't get those beautiful moments captured on camera, but they are in my heart. I was surrounded by my family who has been our circle of strength, celebrating this special day with Harrison. That's what matters most.

Don't Blink

I am not sure where the last month has gone. Here is the latest and greatest on our camera. Sadly, most of my highlights are of Henry....um...I've fallen into the trap that I've heard most parents say--you take less and less pictures after your first baby. Yikes! I've got work to do!

My baby.

Henry trying to feed me a worm. Yuck.

Peek-a-boo! I see you!

My FAVORITE picture from halloween! What a georgeous smile! At our get together in the morning with college friends, our attemp to get oodles of kids to pose for a picture was chaos, but fun. I laugh at the two unhappy toddlers who surround Harrison. Think he was the happiest one of the bunch!

Spidey was bundled with three layers of clothes for a very cold trick or treat.

Say "cheese" Miss Rosa (PBS)

P.S. She's way too cute! Her personality was just as cute as her looks.

Who wouldn't want cake for breakfast when it looks this good? It took me 2.5 hours to decorate this cake. Am I the next Martha Stewart or missed my calling? NO. There is a reason why people buy cakes and pay a price for them. It takes too long, but it was really fun AND I got 2.5 hours to myself while Scott hung out with the boys in the basement.

Got wings?

Henry and the neighbor girl thought it snowed outside yesterday. I couldn't tell them it was just frost. They took a quick run through the freshly fallen "snow".

I NEED cake for breakfast

The Friday before Halloween, Henry received a card in the mail with 10 $1 bills. He was excited because he could add to his savings plan for his Buzz Lightyear Wingpack. His savings plan started with an elderly man at church who always gives him $1 after church. John used to give him 25 cents, but has grown to enjoy Henry's entertainment and friendship and has now upped his donation. Henry is now close to the $20 that he needs to make his purchase. So the Monday following Halloween, Henry received another card. When his excitement is deflated because there isn't any money in his card, he asked to open Harrison's card. Henry learned for the first time in his 3 years of life, that not every card is going to have money in it. He continued to wait to make his wingpack purchase. Finally a week later he receives another card in the mail. He's delighted that it has $ in it and now he has enough to go to the store and buy his wings.

Henry turned 3 on Monday and today we're having a family birthday party for him. I baked his cake yesterday and he's been eyeing it for the past 24 hours. He just came to me and said, "Mom, I'm hungry for breakfast. I need cake." To which I replied, "Henry, you are not eating cake for breakfast." (I bet you can see where this is going.) "Mom, I NEED cake for breakfast... because it's my birthday."

Rule number ONE in this house lately is that you don't always get what you want.

Isn't that a rule in everyone's house? Hasn't it always been a rule in this house? Well, kind of , but not really. This rule has really come into affect since our lifestyle change that I am staying at home with the boys. I am now more money conscience than I have ever been. I find satisfaction in saving almost as much money at the store at I spend. Like, for example I spent $35 dollars at Target a couple days ago and saved $23 in coupons. I LOVE that. I pride myself on trying to save money and show off my recipt to Scott when I get home like a kid looking for recognition on something well done. (He did pat me on the back.) But it does bum me out a bit when I go out shopping now. It's no longer for myself and I can't selfishly throw something in the cart for myself when no one (i.e. Scott) is looking. It used to be easy to throw a shirt in the cart when it was full because it just kind of blended it with the total bill. Well, now life is different and every bit counts. Not to say that I won't do it again, because I am sure I will. What girl doesn't love a new shirt?

I keep telling Scott in our discussions lately that there is no other place for me right now than at home with Henry and Harrison. I am enjoying it more than I ever thought I would. We are finding things to do and making friends along the way. However, I'm not getting time to myself anymore because this job is 24/7. I'm finding that making time for myself is the biggest challenge and it wears on me if I let it go for too long. I used to think that running errands was time for myself, but it's not. Running errands is boring and brings its own element of stress. So I'm searching for purposeful things to do for myself, by myself with Scott's loving support. I've got a few things in the works that I'm excited about.

I miss blogging. I enjoy sharing my thoughts, knowing that others can identify with me. I find myself getting to the computer less and less. At the top of my Christmas list is a laptop. I used to have one when I worked and I didn't realize how wonderful that was until I no longer had it. Maybe Santa will treat me well. I have been a good girl, you know.

So as I do some soul searching and continue to make wish lists, I take happiness in the things that I do have. I have two happy healthy boys that, at the moment are very hungry. And no we won't be having cake for breakfast, we'll have to wait. Because in this house, we don't get everything we want.