over prepared. . .is that possible??

(Sigh)

I'm not sure where the weekend went, but it's come and gone. I sit here secretly hoping not to get noticed for at least 20 more minutes as I sneak to the basement and blog. Scott is giving the boys a bath and I can hear screams coming from Henry because he's over tired from a packed weekend of friends and family.

Harrison's baptism was this morning and it couldn't have been more perfect if I had to script the day myself. Scott and I slept just long enough this morning to get ourselves and the boys ready, to visit with family that spent the night while eating some banana muffins and butter braid that I had set out the night before. We got to the church with time to spare--made bathroom trips, Harrison was put in his baptismal gown and visited with Father Tim. The kids set up camp with colors and snacks to keep busy for the hour. I couldn't believe how well everything appeared to be going.

It wasn't until I stood in front of the baptismal font that I remembered my camera, which was sitting next to the charged camcorder that I had carefully packed the night before and tucked into the bottom of my diaper bag. I was trying so hard to follow Father Tim, but I couldn't help but glace at my family watching this important moment in Harrison's life (as his big brother was waving to the crowd) and no one had a camera!!! AND MINE WAS BURIED IN THE BOTTOM OF MY BAG!!!

I can remember my exact thought as Todd lit the baptismal candle..."Hey, this will be easy to reenact. Todd can pose again lighting the candle with us looking over his shoulder in awe."

Fortunately for them, I didn't make them pose for the camera afterward. That would have been silly, but how funny would it be to look at those pictures?!

Even though the words have been unspoken between Scott and I, I believe he would agree with me that today was more special for us than it perhaps is for the average person. Sure, baptism is special in its own sacred way--being welcomed into the church and brought up knowing and forever learning about our faith. However, the last time we baptised a son it was under such different, delicate circumstances. I was wearing sweatpants, sitting it a wheelchair, surrounded by my family in the NICU. My son couldn't wear the baptismal gown that Scott, his sisters, and cousins before him wore. Instead it had to lay next to him. I couldn't hold him and over the baptismal font in church as the priest said his blessings and welcomed him in front of the congregation. Somehow in my heart, I knew that day was the beginning to the end of a very short life. As much as I had hope that circumstances would be different, I knew.

A person can plan for so much, and life is capable of taking you in its own direction regardless if you want to or are even ready to go. Maybe I didn't get those beautiful moments captured on camera, but they are in my heart. I was surrounded by my family who has been our circle of strength, celebrating this special day with Harrison. That's what matters most.

Don't Blink

I am not sure where the last month has gone. Here is the latest and greatest on our camera. Sadly, most of my highlights are of Henry....um...I've fallen into the trap that I've heard most parents say--you take less and less pictures after your first baby. Yikes! I've got work to do!

My baby.

Henry trying to feed me a worm. Yuck.

Peek-a-boo! I see you!

My FAVORITE picture from halloween! What a georgeous smile! At our get together in the morning with college friends, our attemp to get oodles of kids to pose for a picture was chaos, but fun. I laugh at the two unhappy toddlers who surround Harrison. Think he was the happiest one of the bunch!

Spidey was bundled with three layers of clothes for a very cold trick or treat.

Say "cheese" Miss Rosa (PBS)

P.S. She's way too cute! Her personality was just as cute as her looks.

Who wouldn't want cake for breakfast when it looks this good? It took me 2.5 hours to decorate this cake. Am I the next Martha Stewart or missed my calling? NO. There is a reason why people buy cakes and pay a price for them. It takes too long, but it was really fun AND I got 2.5 hours to myself while Scott hung out with the boys in the basement.

Got wings?

Henry and the neighbor girl thought it snowed outside yesterday. I couldn't tell them it was just frost. They took a quick run through the freshly fallen "snow".

I NEED cake for breakfast

The Friday before Halloween, Henry received a card in the mail with 10 $1 bills. He was excited because he could add to his savings plan for his Buzz Lightyear Wingpack. His savings plan started with an elderly man at church who always gives him $1 after church. John used to give him 25 cents, but has grown to enjoy Henry's entertainment and friendship and has now upped his donation. Henry is now close to the $20 that he needs to make his purchase. So the Monday following Halloween, Henry received another card. When his excitement is deflated because there isn't any money in his card, he asked to open Harrison's card. Henry learned for the first time in his 3 years of life, that not every card is going to have money in it. He continued to wait to make his wingpack purchase. Finally a week later he receives another card in the mail. He's delighted that it has $ in it and now he has enough to go to the store and buy his wings.

Henry turned 3 on Monday and today we're having a family birthday party for him. I baked his cake yesterday and he's been eyeing it for the past 24 hours. He just came to me and said, "Mom, I'm hungry for breakfast. I need cake." To which I replied, "Henry, you are not eating cake for breakfast." (I bet you can see where this is going.) "Mom, I NEED cake for breakfast... because it's my birthday."

Rule number ONE in this house lately is that you don't always get what you want.

Isn't that a rule in everyone's house? Hasn't it always been a rule in this house? Well, kind of , but not really. This rule has really come into affect since our lifestyle change that I am staying at home with the boys. I am now more money conscience than I have ever been. I find satisfaction in saving almost as much money at the store at I spend. Like, for example I spent $35 dollars at Target a couple days ago and saved $23 in coupons. I LOVE that. I pride myself on trying to save money and show off my recipt to Scott when I get home like a kid looking for recognition on something well done. (He did pat me on the back.) But it does bum me out a bit when I go out shopping now. It's no longer for myself and I can't selfishly throw something in the cart for myself when no one (i.e. Scott) is looking. It used to be easy to throw a shirt in the cart when it was full because it just kind of blended it with the total bill. Well, now life is different and every bit counts. Not to say that I won't do it again, because I am sure I will. What girl doesn't love a new shirt?

I keep telling Scott in our discussions lately that there is no other place for me right now than at home with Henry and Harrison. I am enjoying it more than I ever thought I would. We are finding things to do and making friends along the way. However, I'm not getting time to myself anymore because this job is 24/7. I'm finding that making time for myself is the biggest challenge and it wears on me if I let it go for too long. I used to think that running errands was time for myself, but it's not. Running errands is boring and brings its own element of stress. So I'm searching for purposeful things to do for myself, by myself with Scott's loving support. I've got a few things in the works that I'm excited about.

I miss blogging. I enjoy sharing my thoughts, knowing that others can identify with me. I find myself getting to the computer less and less. At the top of my Christmas list is a laptop. I used to have one when I worked and I didn't realize how wonderful that was until I no longer had it. Maybe Santa will treat me well. I have been a good girl, you know.

So as I do some soul searching and continue to make wish lists, I take happiness in the things that I do have. I have two happy healthy boys that, at the moment are very hungry. And no we won't be having cake for breakfast, we'll have to wait. Because in this house, we don't get everything we want.