over prepared. . .is that possible??

(Sigh)

I'm not sure where the weekend went, but it's come and gone. I sit here secretly hoping not to get noticed for at least 20 more minutes as I sneak to the basement and blog. Scott is giving the boys a bath and I can hear screams coming from Henry because he's over tired from a packed weekend of friends and family.

Harrison's baptism was this morning and it couldn't have been more perfect if I had to script the day myself. Scott and I slept just long enough this morning to get ourselves and the boys ready, to visit with family that spent the night while eating some banana muffins and butter braid that I had set out the night before. We got to the church with time to spare--made bathroom trips, Harrison was put in his baptismal gown and visited with Father Tim. The kids set up camp with colors and snacks to keep busy for the hour. I couldn't believe how well everything appeared to be going.

It wasn't until I stood in front of the baptismal font that I remembered my camera, which was sitting next to the charged camcorder that I had carefully packed the night before and tucked into the bottom of my diaper bag. I was trying so hard to follow Father Tim, but I couldn't help but glace at my family watching this important moment in Harrison's life (as his big brother was waving to the crowd) and no one had a camera!!! AND MINE WAS BURIED IN THE BOTTOM OF MY BAG!!!

I can remember my exact thought as Todd lit the baptismal candle..."Hey, this will be easy to reenact. Todd can pose again lighting the candle with us looking over his shoulder in awe."

Fortunately for them, I didn't make them pose for the camera afterward. That would have been silly, but how funny would it be to look at those pictures?!

Even though the words have been unspoken between Scott and I, I believe he would agree with me that today was more special for us than it perhaps is for the average person. Sure, baptism is special in its own sacred way--being welcomed into the church and brought up knowing and forever learning about our faith. However, the last time we baptised a son it was under such different, delicate circumstances. I was wearing sweatpants, sitting it a wheelchair, surrounded by my family in the NICU. My son couldn't wear the baptismal gown that Scott, his sisters, and cousins before him wore. Instead it had to lay next to him. I couldn't hold him and over the baptismal font in church as the priest said his blessings and welcomed him in front of the congregation. Somehow in my heart, I knew that day was the beginning to the end of a very short life. As much as I had hope that circumstances would be different, I knew.

A person can plan for so much, and life is capable of taking you in its own direction regardless if you want to or are even ready to go. Maybe I didn't get those beautiful moments captured on camera, but they are in my heart. I was surrounded by my family who has been our circle of strength, celebrating this special day with Harrison. That's what matters most.