"I don't wanna talk about it anymore."

On my short journey as a mother, I learned somewhere that when kids say something offensive in public that you should acknowledge the honestly in what they are saying. Kids are honest. They say what they see and feel, regardless if it is offensive, hurtful or if it will mortify their mothers in public. For example (this is the teacher in me), if your child says, "That woman is fat." you should acknowledge that she is obese (that's the honesty part) and politely apologize for hurt feelings. After this piece of advice, I felt armed and ready for anything that should come out of Henry Joseph's mouth.

While out and about yesterday, I needed to stop around lunchtime and feed my hungry son. As we were waiting for our food this woman wearing a fur coat was filling her soda at the counter. Henry sees this woman and loudly declares with conviction, "MOM, that woman [I'm thinking that maybe he's going to comment on her coat.] has a huge belly." [Oh, dear God. He just didn't say that out loud did he?!] If one thing could have gone right in this situation, the woman's back was to us and it appeared that she didn't hear him. After all, we were in a food court filled with commotion and noise. As we walked away from the situation, I calmlly acknowledged that the woman was large, but we don't say things like that out loud. It's fine if you want to have those thoughts in your head or share them quietly with Mom and Dad. As I was trying to wrap up this conversation, Henry, ashamed that he did wrong, quietly says to me, "I don't wanna talk about it anymore." At this point, I knew my message was clear.

I feel that I couldn't have handled the situation better, although it was a parenting moment that I wish never had to happen. I want Henry to be honest with his thoughts and feelings, and I think we do a good job as parents encouraging him to express himself. But it's also my job to make sure he is also respectful, even if those teachable moments mortify me. (Sigh.)

(At this moment, I'd like to apologize to my own mother for pointing out to woman she worked with years ago that she didn't have any eyebrows (a little tweezer happy, I believe). I know I embarrassed my mom even more because she knew this woman. Sorry, Mom)