be brave

"It's okay Mom, you can call me whenever you need me." Henry said to me yesterday patting my back in our gentle embrace as I sat on his little toilet in the bathroom with tear-filled eyes.

The kid who has developed separation anxiety at 3 1/2 decided to go back with Grandma and Grandpa for a two night sleepover. AND I AM THE ONE CRYING!

After two days with Grandma and Grandpa at our house this weekend, Henry lacked no confidence that he was going back with them. Grandma had her doubts that he would leave, but I just knew that his heart was set on going from the moment he was invited. It took 48 hours to convince myself that I could be brave, and survive without his presence in the house. After church yesterday, we went upstairs together to pack his bag. I had to fight back tears as he sat chattering about his big plans with Grandma and Grandpa. Don't get me wrong, how cool is that to spend time with your grandparents?! I only wish that I had more memories of those experiences. Those are the moments he will spend rehashing in the years to come.

I often hear Sherry and Scott talking about their overnights with Grandma Lorraine. The time one of them (I won't mention who) was allowed to eat two Big Macs in one sitting and then puked. Or when Scott would scare Grandma Lorraine once it was dark outside. They would play "Ma Perkins" and Grandma would become a short order cook. I remember the fun it was to sleep on the floor in sleeping bags in the basement. Only to have Grandpa shout at us to not "turn the dial" on the tv because it would mess up his tv upstairs. I loved the breakfasts my grandma would make when we would wake up in the morning. I hated the silence in the car when we would go somewhere because they never would turn on the radio. To this day, I think about riding in the car with my grandma and grandpa when I drive in silence. The sound of the clicking blinker is so nostalgic.

When Henry was backing out of the driveway yesterday all nestled in the backseat with Grandma, I knew his silence and serious face was not because he was concerned about his decision to go home with Grandma and Grandpa. He was concerned that I would be okay. I waved, shouted at him to brush his teeth and use his manners. Then reminded myself that not only was he in good hands, but also going to make some great memories.