Woodland "Adventure"

I took Henry to the zoo this morning. We were in this new playarea, Woodland Adventure, I think. . .It was really fun to watch him run around the treehouse and across the wooden bridges. He was especially fond of the boat, which had real fishing poles, bait bucket and motor that made noises. There were lots of other kids, mostly boys today, that also appeared to be as interested in the boat and it's accessories. Henry came to me and asked me how he could get a turn to play with the motor. I told him that he should go sit in the boat and wait for the little boy (who was playing with the motor) to be finished. Then he would need to quickly move to the motor before someone else got there. And that's exactaly what he did. He was playing with the motor for about 32 seconds when this 6 year old boy came up and grabbed the motor away from Henry. Henry just allowed the boy to boss him around and take the toy away that Henry was entitled to play with too--because he waited his turn. Now the boy said to Henry, "Now it's my turn." I wasn't sure what to do as a mother. I just sat there and watched it happen, helplessly. Well the boy played for about 16 seconds, got bored and left. Henry then played with the motor. There were lots of boys around Henry eager to play with the motor too. Henry made friends with a few and they played together. Until. . . the 6 year old returned. He did the same thing to Henry again. At this point, I was annoyed. I wanted Henry to fight back and push his way around that boat. In my mind, I was saying, "Come on Henry! Don't just sit there! Show that boy who's boss! Where is this kid's mother?!" As Henry's mother, I had to so something. I walked over to the boat and asked Henry, "Are you finished playing, Honey?" I was stunned when the boy's mother, who was sitting right next to the boat with her other child, turned and said something like, "Billy, you need to let him play with it too." At that point I would have liked to slap her because she allowed her child to deliberately take something away from other child. Not once, but twice.

Later when Henry and I were eating our lunch, Henry noticed that there was ketchup at the condiment cart. He asked if he could have some with this sausage and crackers. Hey, if it was going to make him eat, I'll get him ketchup. As I was at the cart, there was a young girl (11) and another mom and myself. Now the cart is not big and you cross paths with others, so you must wait your turn. This lady said to the young girl in a very rude tone, but using polite words, "Excuse me!" when the young girl slowed her down. It was at that point that I realized the boy in the playarea interacted with Henry the way he did because adults do it every day. If polite words are used, we think we are excused for the rudeness in our tone of voice. The little girl had every right to reach for a napkin, the adult woman should have waited her turn.

When I think back to Henry in the boat, I am glad that he didn't react to the boy. I've seen him fight back and the situation would have been a different kind of challenge. Like many parents, we want our kids to be liked by others and strong. I guess, strong doesn't necessarily mean that you have to say or do anything.